Longing to Live A Life of Unlimited Love?
What if you could find deeper, more playful ways to love and share intimacy with more than one person at a time?
Learn how to create the joyous, ethically polyamorous relationships of your dreams
You Can Learn the Skills To Enjoy Healthier, Happier Relationships
Join a fantastically diverse group of speakers who will teach you to:
- Feel your feelings and step into the truth of who you really are.
- Know what you want and how to ask for it.
- Practice the gift of consent in all your interactions.
- Unpack problematic relationship patterns and cultural messages that you may not even be aware of.
- Live your most authentic life, in and out of the closet.
Yes, It Really Is Possible!
In The Practices and Principles of Ethical Polyamory you will learn all of this and more!
Meet Your Adventure Party Leader
Kathy Slaughter, LCSW
I love being a resource for people seeking to get more out of life, more out of sex, and more out of their relationships.
As an individual and relationship therapist, my work focuses on identifying the ways your life and your relationships aren’t working for you, as well as finding new ways to think, feel and act that are in alignment with the core of who you want to be.
In this way I help thoughtful, self-aware people struggling with connecting to others learn they have the right to pleasure, agency, and love, so they can enjoy sincere and fulfilling relationships with themselves and others.Join The Adventure
Why Do I Call Polyamory An Adventure?
In many ways, we're actually pretty boring. We're not these exotic creatures that monogamous people sometimes see us as. We're not that different.
We do laundry. We go to the grocery store. We cook food for the people we love. We sleep, we get up, we go to work. We just love more than one person at a time.
However that last part is a pretty big deal. Because once you've questioned monogamy, you can question anything. And in the process of practicing polyamory you may learn about your sexuality, about who you really are.
You may learn about what you deeply desire.
If you're coming from a conservative background, this might be the first time that you feel a sense of free expression in the deepest part of your soul. And that is both exhilarating, and if you're a people pleaser or trauma survivor, it's also terrifying.
Because what if you hurt someone? What if you fuck up? What if you lose everything you hold dear?
When you go into your heart and take those risks, to be vulnerable, to dive deep into love and full self-expression, that is an adventure.Join the Adventure
The Practices and Principles of Ethical Polyamory
Do You Crave Sustainable Relationships That Uplift You and Those You Love?
Has polyamory inspired you or maybe let you down? Have you wondered whether there are deeper, more playful ways to love and share intimacy with more than one person at a time?
I've been in your shoes. I'm a social worker, creative revolutionary, lover, and expert facilitator, and I've been actively polyamorous for many years. If you're like me, then you care deeply about the relationships you choose to engage in, finding ones that feel good and honor the agency of those within them.
I know now that wherever you are in your adventure with ethical polyamory, there is always more to explore, places to go further, and those whose insights and experiences will fire you up to create the polyamorous relationships of your dreams!
Now is the time to dive in and find the courage to live a life of UNLIMITED LOVE.
I gathered a fantastically diverse group of polyam authors and educators, counselors and coaches, activists and thought leaders who chatted with me about all things poly as part of the first ever one of a kind Practices and Principles of Ethical Polyamory Conference!
I want to share this conference with you so that you can take it in at your own pace.Join The Adventure
What's Included In The Practices and Principles of Ethical Polyamory...
We begin with Preparation Station! There are so many good things to know before you dive into open relationships. These speakers will gift you mithril to protect you from the skeptics and critics, shed light on discrimination and the closet, and show you how to use Kingsfoil to heal.
- Poly Philia will start us off with a bit of a roadmap of a lot of the things you might hear when you come out as poly. She gives us ideas of how to answer both genuinely interested and perhaps ill-informed people as well as how to shut down people who just want to argue.
- David Rodemaker, PsyD, will share with us how coming out is not a one-size-fits-all proposition and all the many reasons coming out isn't feasible for everyone. He tells us about the difference between the "toxic closet" and the "walk-in closet" and gives us ideas about how to be as out as safely as possible.
- Kitty Chambliss, PCC, CPC, will close out this section by talking about giving ourselves permission to feel our feelings and step into the truth of who we are. She'll help us learn to vulnerably ask for what we need in our relationships.
Beware The Story
Now you'll learn to keep an eye out for the pitfalls of old mindsets. There is SO much power in how you tell the tale of your adventure, to yourself or others. Longing for a polyam-informed therapist? Gather 'round as three of them talk about the power of narrative!
- Tamara Pincus, LCSW, CST-S, speaks to the fear of loss, how to use the 5 Love Languages to craft a mutual safety plan, and busts apart the idea of codependency. Finally, she reflects on how to handle chronic mental health problems and substance abuse among your loved ones.
- Martha Kaupi, LMFT, CST-S, author of the new book Polyamory A Clinical Toolkit for Clinicians (And Their Clients), will show you how to create agreements that you can keep by unpacking problematic relationship patterns. Learn how to build flexible, shared understandings that keep your relationships strong for the long-term, even in the face of new relationship energy (NRE).
- Sarah Taub, PhD, jumps right into the ways your big emotions make all of your scary, mean, or painful thoughts seem true. Then she'll tell you how to return to yourself, so you can act with clarity and express your agency. Chock full of tools and practices, too!
Beware The Trap
By knowing what to look for as you scout the possibilities, you can carry on with your adventure with confidence. This section is all about breaking out of those neat little boxes and categories that you get trapped in.
- Emily Prior gives us all kinds of exciting ideas about how to propose fantasies to your partners and shares some really lovely examples from her own relationship with her nesting partner about how intimacy comes in many forms, not just sex.
- Indigo Stray Conger is going to show you how the messages you get from your upbringing show up in your body. She gives you practical knowledge about how you can listen to the messages from your body and regulate those physiological responses.
- Gloria Jackson-Nefertiti will close out this section by breaking down what intersectionality means as she shares with you her own map of intersecting identities and her own personal stories about how that affects the way she walks through this world.
Beware The Shadow
Hope you've got your torch ready, because we're going to take a look into what's hidden. Without examining the shadowy places inside and around us — you know, the ones we'd rather ignore — our adventure cannot continue!
- Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke Carnegie identifies as co-liberator in her therapy work and that is what she's bringing you in this eye-opening and heart-centered talk. She shines a light on a lot of things, so be prepared — some big emotions may come up for you.
- Laurie Ellington shows you that those big emotions that come up and the fires you have to walk through in life can make you so much stronger. She shares all the ways that you can become so much more resilient and resourced as a result.
- Jessica Fern will help you identify ways that your attachment needs may not be being met and gives you some really helpful ideas about how to change that. She also helps you see how you can meet your own attachment needs and be your own security.
Understand Self & Others
Now that you're aware of the traps, the ways narrative can hold you spellbound, and you've spent some time with the shadows you'd rather avoid, the next stage of the journey is relating to others. And relating to others well means understanding where they're coming from. The speakers in this section reveal the diversity of experiences within our community.
- Phoenix Mandel explores the nuances of gender identity, gender expression, and how to foster affirming connections within your relationships. They'll explore how to acknowledge your turn-ons without reducing a real person to a fantasy-fulfillment vehicle. Finally, you'll learn about respecting pronouns and crucial insights for navigating sensitive conversations.
- Stephanie Sullivan explains bisexuality and explores relationships that step outside of mono-sexist and mono-normative culture. After these explorations, she'll focus on ways that mono-polyam pairings can build satisfying relationships.
- Ruby Johnson, queer, kinky, polyam, burner, therapist, opens up about her life lessons learned as she began to explore polyamory. Her own story contains insights into liberation, understanding how our overculture can distort us away from our true selves and away from authentic relationships.
Care For Self & Others
In this section you'll learn about the cornerstone of a healthy camaraderie — consent. Practicing consent enables us to care for ourselves and each other. Without it, harm happens all to easily, as one of our speakers has learned.
- Zach Budd shares with you his remarkable clarity about consent. He's aware that there are many misconceptions about consent, and you'll understand them too. Consent is a mindset, according to Zach, and it's not just about sex. You'll hear about two different frameworks for thinking about consent as well.
- Reid Milhalko shares the lesson he learned from his transformative justice process. Then he jumps right into teaching his Safer Sex Elevator Speech, one of many great tools for having the uncomfortable STI conversation flow much more easily. And the workshop finishes with an exploration of relationship style compatibility, and the importance of Dating Your Species.
- Indigo Dawn shares with you their vision of consent culture, walks you through the idea of personal vs. impersonal questions and teaches one of my favorite skills, Standing Touch Agreements. You'll be invited to experience and notice what your boundaries and pleasures feel like in your body. This powerful plractice will support your ability to care for yourself, while interacting with others.
Celebrate One Another
Here at the end of the journey is where it all begins again. First, you pause and celebrate the gains. The speakers in this section show the liberation that can become yours and ours together. The ultimate aim of these ethical practices and principles is love. The free, open, ethical expression of love. And you'll get a glimpse of the magic found in the process.
- Nookie leads by example, and her talk will introduce you to the wide variety of ways you can craft the relationship of your dreams. You'll learn about the complexity of human existence and desire. And learn how to handle conflicts in desire between you and your partners. Finally, we'll dive into how to date as a kinky person.
- John Halcyon is not an expert in polyamory, but he IS an expert on emotional vulnerability. That vulnerability shows in this conversation between two people who love their community, The Burning Man Family. You'll learn how the 10 Principles can improve the quality of your relationships and create permission to radically express yourself. Then we explore the challenge of facing the shadow within our community, and how we can invite true diversity.
This Is For You If...
- You are polyamorous, polyam-curious, or even monogamous, ambiamorous, or anywhere on the relationship style spectrum.
- You've experienced polyamory gone wrong...but you're not ready to give up just yet.
- You want to improve any and all relationships with your family, friends, AND partners.
- You want to know if it's even possible for a monogamous and a polyamorous couple to make it work. (Spolier alert: it can!)